clipped from: jimtreacher.com   

Transcript of Obama's White House Correspondents' Dinner Speech from an Alternate Universe Where He's Capable of Making Fun of Himself and Not Just Taking Thinly Veiled Shots at His Detractors

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Good evening. It's good to be here. It's been... [checks watch] ...wow, over 3 hours since I last gave a speech on TV. Starting to go through withdrawal.
obamaWHCD.PNG

Great to see everybody here tonight. So many good people. We've got Joe Biden here. Sheriff Joe. Just look at him. Smiling and laughing like he has any idea what's going on. There ya go, Plugs, flash those choppers. You paid enough for 'em. "Just make sure they match the hair I bought, Doc." Folks, I hereby declare everything from Joe's neck up a man-caused disaster.

I kid because I love. Joe's a good man, good family man. Lovely daughter. You know, Ashley Biden was planning to take the Amtrak down here tonight