In a study conducted during the 2008 election, Dr. Ray Friedman of Vanderbilt University found that white students received lower scores on standardized tests when they were reminded of McCain’s electoral loss before the test, suggesting that Obama’s presidency is crushing the hopes of young white people.

“When McCain fumbled what should’ve been a ‘gimme’ election,” said Friedman, “he was a war hero campaigning during a two-front war against a limp-wristed nancy-boy whose foreign policy experience consisted of being born in Kenya. McCain’s loss created a new color barrier in a very public and important way, robbing white test-takers of their full potential.”