clipped from: www.authorinsider.com   

1. To forgive, we have to forget the offending behavior.
Forgetting is not part of forgiving.

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2. To forgive is to excuse the offending behavior.
Forgiveness does not in any way excuse or condone the inappropriate actions that created our regret.

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3. When we forgive, we no longer hold the person accountable for the offending
behavior.

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4. When we forgive, we are implying that the offender is innocent, less guilty, or
somehow off the hook.

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5. To forgive, we have to reconcile with the offender.
To reconcile with someone is to reestablish a relationship with that person. Reconciliation can be part of
forgiveness, but only if we choose to make it so.

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6. We should only forgive if the other person deserves it.
We forgive others because we deserve it, because we deserve to be free of the regret and the pain it
has caused us.

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7. We only forgive in response to a request for forgiveness.
No request from the offending party is necessary for our forgiveness.