clipped from: fightconservatives.com   

From Chapter 1: "What It Means to Be a Liberal" in How to Win a Fight with a Conservative

Which bumper sticker would you most likely put on your car?
  1. I’m Already Against the Next War
  2. Nice Hummer—Sorry About Your Penis
  3. America: One Nation Under Surveillance
  4. Of Course It Hurts, You’re Getting Screwed by an Elephant
  5. Evolution Is Just a Theory . . . Kind of Like Gravity
  6. May the Fetus You Save Be Gay
A second civil war has just broken out in America. Who is to blame?
  1. Imperialistic neocons—for launching simultaneous wars against Iran, North Korea, and France
  2. Global warming deniers—for bringing us an eco-apocalypse
  3. The South—for never having gotten over the fact that they lost the first War of Northern Aggression
  4. Corporate greedmongers—for outsourcing every last American job to Bangalore
  5. FOX News—for fomenting a war with a flashy “March to Civil War” logo and theme music
  6. Bible-thumping puritans—for banning abortion, gay people, and sex